Snowdrop in a Storm Read online

  A NineStar Press Publication

  www.ninestarpress.com

  Snowdrop in a Storm

  ISBN: 978-1-951057-82-4

  Copyright © 2019 by Ava Kelly

  Cover Art by Natasha Snow Copyright © 2019

  Edited by Elizabetta McKay

  Published in November, 2019 by NineStar Press, New Mexico, USA.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form, whether by printing, photocopying, scanning or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact NineStar Press at [email protected].

  Warning: This book contains the depiction of a panic attack; grief for the loss of a loved one in childbirth (past, off-page), and recollection of commitment for mental issues.

  Snowdrop in a Storm

  Snow Globes, Book Three

  Ava Kelly

  Table of Contents

  Dedication

  Snowdrop in a Storm

  About the Author

  To the Pocket Watch Brigade and the Bad Decision Buddies.

  “WE ARE SO going to regret this,” Daniel said with a sigh.

  He smiled as he blew over his teacup, and from across the breakfast counter, Jeff grinned at him. He’d already packed their lunches for Daniel’s last day of work and Abby’s last day of school. Their suitcases were waiting upstairs, almost ready. In the morning they’d be on a plane.

  For the first time in his many years working as a teacher, Daniel Wu’s winter vacation would begin a week early. As a supervisor, he would accompany a handful of lucky eight-year-old chess club enthusiasts for a training tournament in the picturesque snow-covered Austrian Alps. Daniel looked forward to showing Jeff and Abby one of the places he’d enjoyed the most during his travels.

  A pancake flipped through the air and returned with a sizzle to the pan. Jeff shook his head, his excitement contagious.

  “We’ll be fine. Between you and me and Amber and Nick, I think we can wrangle a bunch of kids.”

  Jeff had a point. It shouldn’t be much harder than keeping an entire class in line during museum trips, especially with so many adults supervising. He just couldn’t help but worry a little, planning for disasters and busted knees and special dietary requirements.

  “Besides,” Jeff continued, “other teachers will be there, won’t they? With the other teams.”

  “Yep,” Daniel agreed.

  The pension hotel they’d be staying at had been reserved to host a mini-tournament of the International Chess Club that Amber had convinced Daniel to join. As a novice teacher, Amber had needed someone else to co-supervise the school’s club. Honestly, it had been a good thing. Some of the kids—Abby especially—had taken to it incredibly quickly during the first months of the semester, and now, they were set to start participating in competitions. One of the perks of the ICC was the winter gatherings that served as practice before the summer tournaments. And some of next year’s teams in Abby’s age group would be present at the resort. It opened up opportunities to meet new kids, learn new things.

  Nothing came without a price, however, and Daniel suspected he’d pay for this trip with his patience and a few white hairs. He was excited, for several reasons, and yet—

  Some of his ambivalence must have been visible because Jeff said, “Don’t pout,” his smile just as bright as he pushed over a full plate.

  “I’m not pouting.” Daniel pulled the flattest expression he could. “My face is poutless, see?”

  “Sure.” Jeff looked at the ceiling. “Abby! Breakfast!”

  She came thundering down the stairs, hair tied crookedly in two braids falling over her shoulders. She’d been getting better at doing them herself, with a determination Daniel figured she extracted from her passion of all things Wednesday Addams, but she still had a ways to go. It was a matter of practice. Abby waved the tip of a braid at him, a question mumbled around her mouthful of pancake.

  “They’re better today,” he said.

  “The best,” Jeff added with a pat to her head.

  Abby’s teeth were smeared with jam as she grinned.

  “Mouth closed,” Daniel chastised, gently, and heard Jeff’s lips smack against each other.

  He laughed—couldn’t not with his precious persons. The happiness of it stung behind his eyes for a moment, and he took a deep breath.

  “What am I going to do with you two, huh?”

  “I guess you’ll have to love us,” Jeff singsonged in a bad rendition of The Addams Family tune, and Abby snapped her fingers at the end.

  Daniel shoved a forkful in his mouth just so he wouldn’t blurt, “Marry me,” to Jeff right then and there.

  ABBY FINISHED HER breakfast first and, at Jeff’s suggestion, went to her room to see if there was anything she’d want to take with her that needed cleaning. Jeff had taken the day off specifically to deal with the last of the packing and household chores before they had to leave.

  Despite himself, Daniel sighed at the plate he was washing. Jeff’s arm came around his waist, chin on his shoulder.

  “Still at this?” he asked in a whisper. “I packed two first aid kits. We’ll handle everything; we can do this.”

  Daniel grabbed a mug, rubbed at it with more force than necessary. “It’s not the kids.”

  “Hmm, what then? Oh,” Jeff said before he could answer. “Nick?”

  With a nod, Daniel turned off the water. Holding the wet mug, he stood there, but so did Jeff, silently supportive. Probably thinking the same things. Daniel and Abby and even Amber attending the chess tournament would’ve meant Jeff spending the holidays alone. Besides, Amber’s long-distance girlfriend would be there, plus her brother, leading another team. Daniel suspected they were the reason Amber had gotten so passionate about chess, of all things. In any case, Daniel and Jeff had agreed to make it a family vacation as well, and along the way, it was decided Nick would join them. The parents of the other kids had been more than happy to approve the extra chaperones.

  Outside the window above the sink, the ground was covered in a thin layer of snow. Not enough to interrupt any traveling, but visible enough to have Daniel roll back over the last two years of his life and the cornerstones that had changed it. Seemed like the most important things happened to him in the snow. And the next one would, too, if nothing interfered with his plans.

  He set the mug down and pulled Jeff’s arms tighter around him.

  “He can’t even look me in the eye,” Daniel said.

  Jeff didn’t reply, not with words. Instead, he pushed his face against Daniel’s neck and breathed there deeply.

  When Daniel got together with Jeff two years before, it meant Abby would also be in his life. The little girl and her adoptive father had swiftly and enduringly pulled Daniel into their world. By last winter, his circle of close friends also included Jeff’s longtime bestie, Amber, who, as the school’s newest teacher, had managed to outshine even Daniel’s starting semester there. They’d taken to each other so quickly Jeff claimed to have gotten whiplash.

  The same hadn’t happened with Nick, though. One fateful winter day last year, the man had appeared, trying to reclaim Abby as his daughter. Biological contribution wouldn’t—couldn’t—erase the fact that Nick had taken off the night Abby had been born, the same night his wife had passed, the same one Jeff had lost his twin sister. As if his entitlement hadn’t been enough, Nick had been outright judgmental toward Jeff and Daniel’s
relationship. They’d set him straight, under the looming threat of lawsuits, and Nick had changed his mind. He’d been in their lives ever since—mostly because of Jeff—and had surprised them with how easily he settled into the role of uncle for Abby. But while Nick and Jeff’s rapport had been improving, things between Daniel and Nick weren’t as rosy.

  “Give him some more time,” Jeff said quietly. “Please.”

  Daniel nodded, petting at Jeff’s forearm as it squeezed around his chest.

  All relationships worth anything were works in progress, so Daniel held onto his patience with metaphorical claws. His little family deserved the effort. What helped was that Nick seemed to be trying just as hard. Two weeks, though, in close quarters with him nearby? Daniel was understandably anxious.

  THE DAY WENT by fast. The last bell rang, and Daniel turned off his laptop. Next week’s activities would be covered by Evelyn, the other third grade teacher, and the classroom was tidy. Nothing else to do but take Abby home to where Jeff was probably panicking over the luggage. Even with Jeff’s brave front, Daniel had seen his packing list. It was extensive.

  “Ready?” Amber’s voice drifted in from the hallway. “I can’t wait,” she added, bouncing on her feet.

  “You’re just happy to see Sara.”

  “Duh. But also, the Alps, and skiing, and the Alps!”

  It pulled a laugh from Daniel. “It’s beautiful over there, yes.”

  They shared the mirth as they walked down the hall, but sobered as they reached the administration desk.

  “Do you have all the paperwork? IDs? Proxies? Phone numbers?”

  Daniel patted his backpack. “All here.”

  “Good, good.”

  They took a few minutes to say goodbyes around the office and the teachers’ lounge, wishing happy holidays. By the time they stepped outside, Abby was moving away from the group of kids waiting for pickup. Amber waved as she hurried across the parking lot, shouting a cheerful, “See you in the morning,” before taking off.

  Daniel met Abby at the car, and she raised an eyebrow. She was getting better at that, too.

  “Do you have it?”

  For the second time in the last ten minutes, he patted the backpack. “In here.”

  She nodded, not unusually silent, but still a little more subdued than the excitement of the trip warranted. Daniel set the backpack in the car, turned to her, and crouched down. He wanted to be at her eye level for this. He gripped her shoulders gently.

  “Are you sure you don’t mind? If you don’t want me to—”

  “Yes! I’m sure!” Her surprise was obvious, so it wasn’t that. “I want you to ask Daddy. Promise,” she added when Daniel kept looking at her. Smart kid.

  “Okay,” he said with a smile and received a hug for his troubles. “Are you sad because of something else, then?”

  “I’m not sad,” she muttered. Embarrassed.

  Huh. Abby fidgeted, a stubborn set of her face, and Daniel decided to let it go. She’d probably tell him or Jeff when she was ready.

  “All right, kiddo. Let’s go home.”

  He wasn’t too worried about what he was planning to do. He and Jeff had talked about marriage. He knew Jeff wanted it just as much as he did. It was only a matter of who popped the question first. Back in September, Daniel had taken Abby aside to explain and make sure she was okay with it. Apparently, Jeff had done the same, but Abby was convinced it would take a while for him to come up with something to his satisfaction.

  “It’s because he likes you so much,” she’d said.

  Daniel had seized the opportunity then. He really wanted to see the surprise on Jeff’s face, hoped it would be accompanied by delight. After much brainstorming, he and Abby had come up with the perfect way to ask—something sappy enough for the romantic in Jeff, and them enough to have a deeper meaning, to be memorable.

  “I called the pension today,” Daniel said as he stopped at a traffic light. “They said the communal guest kitchen has ovens, and we can bake our cake there, no problem.”

  From the back seat, Abby let out a victorious “Woo!” before squinting at him. Daniel eyed her warily through the mirror.

  “Did you practice writing with frosting?” she asked.

  Daniel huffed out a breath as he drummed his thumbs on the steering wheel. “Didn’t have time, but how hard can it be?”

  She gave him a look.

  “We’ll figure it out,” he promised. “I even looked up convenience stores; there’s two in the resort.” He wanted to reassure himself more than Abby as he went over the plan again. “I’ll sneak out in the morning, get the ingredients, and then we’ll make sure Jeff is occupied with the other kids. A couple of hours should be enough. We’ll put the cake in the fridge in our room and lure him there after dinner. I’ll ask Amber for help if we need it, okay?”

  Abby had nodded until then, but suddenly she looked shifty.

  Along the road, the trees parted to reveal their house in its small clearing, and Daniel parked while Jeff waved from the porch. He’d ask another time, then, what that was all about.

  THE COLD WINTER air bit into Nick’s neck and the tops of his ears as he sat on the swing. He had wanted to step out of the apartment for a few minutes, maybe grab a snack from the store across the street, but he’d ended up here, without a cap or a scarf. This was the same park where he and Lauren and Jeff used to hang out when they were teenagers. Hell, they’d even met in the same spot as snotty five-year-olds. When their kindergarten teacher had told them all about snowdrops emerging from the snow, they’d spent an entire chilly February afternoon watching an iced-over patch of the sandbox for the first flower of spring. They’d teased each other about that, later on, until the memory faded within the tumult of life.

  The playground was dark, only the sturdy swing set having survived the remodels over the years, and Nick pushed gently with his feet against the frosty ground. The chain squeaked. Lauren used to laugh at the sound. She’d laugh so much.

  The bitter thought wasn’t far away. She’d be so disappointed in Nick. He’d really made a mess of things. Swallowing around the lump in his throat, he closed his eyes and imagined her there, wearing that look that said You’re a moron, Mariani.

  Sure, there was an explanation, but it sounded hollower the more he repeated it to himself. Being in pain didn’t excuse dishing it to others.

  It had taken years to get past losing Lauren in childbirth. Seven, to be exact, in which he hadn’t seen or spoken to Jeff. Seven years in which he hadn’t known his daughter’s face. Most of that time, he hadn’t even been able to admit to himself she existed.

  Guilt had sneaked up on him, though, and no measure of justification could make him wipe the metaphorical slate clean so he’d start a new life. It had taken too long to heal, and for that, an innocent little girl had lost both her parents. He wasn’t proud of how he’d handled it, but he also hadn’t been able to take care of himself, let alone another human being. The day the adoption by Jeff was finalized was the day Nick admitted himself into a psych ward as far away from his hometown as possible.

  At about this time the year prior, he had reached the decision to return. The town, as he’d driven back in, had assaulted him with all the memories of loss and grief. He should have waited, calmed himself down before reaching out to Jeff and Abby. Should have taken the time to process seeing them with Jeff’s boyfriend. Instead, he’d threatened them and uttered such bullshit…

  The words banged around in his head, echoing with vicious clarity. You’re gonna turn me gay, too? Such a hypocrite Nick was.

  Jeff hadn’t forgiven him for his extensive disappearance, but he’d at least accepted his apologies. Abby and Daniel, too. For a while—when he’d been busy searching for an apartment, distracted by moving back—it had felt all right. Water under the bridge, and they’d allowed him into their family. Uncle Nick instead of Daddy, but it suited their situation. He’d given up Abby, and it wouldn’t be fair to rip her away from Je
ff when he was the one who’d raised her.

  When spring came, Daniel had to go and be accommodating and understanding. With each interaction, Nick had gotten more and more weighed down by the events of last Christmas.

  He was so ashamed.

  He’d treated Daniel like a disease. All the remorse in the world wouldn’t make it right. Nick had to do something, to prove somehow to Daniel that he wasn’t the asshole he appeared to be. Until then, he didn’t dare look at him.

  It was why he’d been filled with anticipation about this trip. Abby had let it slip that Daniel wanted to propose, and what better way for Nick to show his support than by helping? He was willing to clean puke from kids if it meant giving Jeff and Daniel some time together, away from the bustle of daily activities during the chess tournament. If it meant making sure their vacation would be memorable.

  His phone pinged with a message from Jeff, with the pickup time in the morning. He sent a confirmation back, and then the screensaver popped up, Lauren’s face smiling at him.

  “I hurt our family, babe,” he confessed to her. It wasn’t the first time in the past months.

  His therapist’s words came back to him in Lauren’s voice. Wallowing never did him any good. He couldn’t change the past, but he could change where he was heading. How, too.

  “I miss you,” he told her, imagining the words flying up into the night.

  He missed her, but it wasn’t all-consuming anymore. It was a feeling that was partly bitter, partly sweet, memories both painful and happy wrapped around it. She wouldn’t have liked the way he’d isolated himself after his discharge. Jeff didn’t like it either; he’d been clear about that, and Nick was starting to consider letting him set him up for a date. Maybe. Coming from him, his face so similar to Lauren’s, it felt like she had been saying it.

  With a huff, he shook his head at himself.

  The screen went dark, and he turned it on again. He smiled at her smile.